Confidence is an important key when speaking in public or when you are talking one on one with people. It determines how successful you will be in any agenda.
Andrew Frawley is a young boy from Virginia. He is a writer and startup marketer.
At the age of 16, like any young person, went through challenges of facing people. At that age Andrew weighed 300 lbs and was going through all the disgrace at school. He was like this:
"Hands in pocket. Shoulders low. Overweight. Totally adorable, though." He says
But he did not let that intimidate him. He decided to change after he saw this interesting quote:
“fake it til’ you make it.”
That was the life changing point. He started to look up how to be confident. Through his search, he started to take note of his first behaviors and keeping them in mind. Though he looked weird with that, after one year it paid off.
(Look at the his hands) - shy to touch.
You can see on this photo his is doing much better. The timidity is a bit around but, that was a great move after a year. Besides, the most important to him then was to start getting into photos. And, he did it!
At 18 years old these are few things Andrew was able to master:
*- Lots of eye contact (listening = connection)
*- Repeat their name in conversation (names = good feelings)
*- Turn your head slowly if someone calls your name (turning your head quickly shows eagerness)
*- Walk slowly (you are important, no one is rushing you anywhere)
*- Don’t fidget (shows you are nervous)
*- Don’t touch your face (nervousness)
*- Don’t bite your lips (nervousness)
*- Hold your shoulders back (shows power)
*- Don’t brush lint off your clothes (shows insecurity)
*- Respond to text 1 1/2 the time it took for them to respond (you are busy)
*- Associate with other confident people (makes you confident)
Here is the result:
At the age of 19, he was elected president to run a fraternity in college as a sophomore and that was another opportunity to improve himself. By this time his pre-planned fake behaviors have started to disappear. He's becoming natural and confident.
At 21 he began to give talks at TEDx event in Richmond, VA.
My theory which I introduced at the TEDxRVA Open Mic night, The Opposite Effect, introduces a simplified way of thinking in how anyone, in any industry can stand out, shock their consumers and find their competitive advantage.
At 23, he moved to San Francisco with no job and no house. Fresh out of school. With the goal of making a difference. And recently he wrote an article titled The Ultimate Guide to Getting Any Job You Want. In addition, he started his own blog. You can follow him and read more from him.
Say to yourself "I can make it".
Today Andrew is ready to face world and its challenges.
Few lessons and advice from Andrew for you:
*- When it starts to become natural, you start to get momentum. In the realm of confidence, this is when you win. You start to get victories without thinking about it and you are okay with losses.
*- The takeaway advice that is immediately actionable is to completely fake it.
*- I don’t recommend becoming a fake person disengaged from your core values.
*- But sit in the mirror tonight. Look at yourself in the mirror, think of the most confident person you can imagine. Is it Brad Pitt? Is it Superman? Is it your neighbor John? Stare at yourself. Emulate them. Stand like them. Hold your shoulders like them. Walk like them. Talk like them. Steal their best moves.
*- It’s gonna feel fake. It’s gonna feel weird. It’s gonna work.
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